Some say
by Yui-Mag
Summary: How do you define love? Is it painful? Warm? Happiness? Simply not being alone anymore?Simple snippets here and there in the lives of Akira, Hikaru, Waya and Isumi.
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: Hikaru no Go is not my creation…sniffles… I'm just borrowing them for a bit. The song used in called "The Rose" by Bette Midler. Enjoy._

_Chapter 1:_

_Some say love _

_it is a river  
that drowns the tender reed _

Touya, Akira had his head bowed towards a goban; shoulder length hair hiding his face. Yet his was not the posture of defeat. If anything, his tall lanky body seemed to radiate interest—curiosity even. At the sight of the other man, Hikaru grinned. Hands deep in the back pockets of his faded jeans, he slowed in his steps to be able to just watch. Watch just for a few minutes, his rival, without any need for masks. Akira's hand moved forward, touching a stone for a minute as if questioning its position before going back to his side. Hikaru didn't need to be in front of his rival to know the puzzled frown that would be marring the man's pale face. He just knew it was there because he could read Akira. Biting off a little sigh, Hikaru shook his head before taking the last few steps to reach the other.

Once he made his presence known, that little frown would leave his rival's face with only the faintest trace of a smile quirking those lips. Akira's eyes would light up and in Hikaru's opinion—that was even better than a full blown smile. A polite greeting would be exchanged and they would take a few minutes to talk about their day, their latest games. Sometimes, if they'd been away or hadn't been able to play with each other for awhile… no words would be spoken. Only a look, a nod of consent and they would start playing.

Today though, Hikaru didn't feel like following the ritual that they'd created a few years ago. He didn't want to be tied within those boundaries. He reached his rival's side and without a second thought, brought his hand to Akira's shoulder.

"Hey… whose game has got your interest this time?" He muttered, leaning towards the game as he kept his hand where it was. He felt the muscles beneath his hand tense in surprise just as he felt Akira's eyes on him.

"Shindo!" He hummed consent at his family name and continued to stare at the game. He didn't recognize the pattern right off the bat. But he had to admit at the moment, he didn't quite care. One glance was enough to show him that whoever had played it, Akira hadn't. The muscles loosened. "What are you doing?" The question was a strange mixture of emotions: surprise, exasperation, and curiosity among others.

"Looking, obviously." He gave the shoulder a little squeeze before he let go and straightened up. Hikaru finally lifted his eyes from the goban to stare directly into Akira's. "You still haven't answered my question." Akira blinked.

"Are you feeling all right?" Hikaru pondered that question for a second or two before turning and going to his chair. He slumped in it like he usually did, a contrast to Akira's perfect posture. When he glanced at his rival however to give an answer, he was slightly surprised himself to find that he lost the words. Akira had that look on his face, that little curious frown and his hand was resting on his shoulder—right where his hand had rested only moments ago.

"...Touya?" Akira's green eyes snapped back to attention.

"Yes?"

"It's sunny outside." The lost look that crossed his rival's face at that moment was priceless and Hikaru couldn't help chuckling at it.

"Are you going to start making sense any time soon, Shindo?" Then he sighed. "I suppose not. Stupid question." The hand had left the shoulder and was making its way to the goban. It started to pick apart the pattern, separating the stones by color.

"I guess…I just…I want to go for a walk outside." Hikaru stumbled over the words, knowing that his next ones might be close to blasphemous to Akira. "I don't feel like playing." Inwardly he tensed, expecting the explosion. It happened less now, to Hikaru's dismay. He supposed they were growing up. Akira's hands had yet to stop their movements,

"Why did you come then?" The rational question asked.

"Because I want to take a walk with you."

_Some say love _

_it is a razor_

_that leaves your soul to bleed_

The hands paused. Just for an instant before they continued their work. The stones spilled into their appropriate containers.

"All right."

"Really?" He couldn't help be a bit surprised. The look he received was answer enough. Hikaru pushed himself out of the chair before Akira could say _anything_. "Cool. Come on…" Akira sighed in the way he usually did but got up rather obediently.

"Do you know where you want to go?" Hikaru shrugged his answer. Anywhere was good to him. He said goodbye to Ichikawa-san, ignoring her puzzled look. "We'll be back." Akira told the woman in a way that was reassuring to both her and Hikaru. It was like a promise that even though they were breaking their ritual…it wasn't the end of it.

_Some say love_

_it is a hunger_

_an endless aching need_

"Touya?" Hikaru broke the comfortable 'silence' that had been surrounding them. His voice seemed a bit too loud, even foreign when compared to the soft rhythmic crunching of the leaves underneath their feet. He waited for Akira's assent to continue, ignoring the feeling that he'd just ruined something. Whatever this was. "We've known each other for awhile, right?"

Akira nodded his head, not knowing where this was going. He usually didn't when Shindo, Hikaru was involved. But Akira had decided awhile back that he didn't mind that much the not knowing. It made his life interesting. "Would…would you mind if…" _This_ however was something that was definitely strange. Hikaru had not sounded this unsure of himself since…since forever ago. He paused in his footing and then all together stopped to face his rival as if that would get the man to say whatever he needed to say.

"If what Shindo?" He prompted gently. "You could just spit it out you know. Like you stated previously, we have known each other for a long time. I doubt that whatever you say will insult me anymore than what you've said on previous occasions." Hikaru rolled his eyes at that but had to grin too. A slight tension in his chest left him.

"Call me Hikaru." Akira was confused by the abruptness of Hikaru's tone. What did that have anything to do with what Shindo wanted to ask hi—oh. His eyes widened. Oh. Something clicked in place. He rival was waiting, fidgeting slightly as he always did. There was a faint blush painting his cheeks and an awkward, almost painful expression on his face. Akira found himself nodding slowly.

"Hikaru." He tested the name out. It was strange, like trying a dish from another country and yet it was familiar too. "Hikaru…" He repeated again. "I'll have to get used to calling you that." Akira pushed his hair back behind his ears, a small smile playing on his lips. "You can call me by my first name as well." He was gifted with one of the brightest smiles he'd ever seen on Hikaru's face.

_I say love_

_it is a flower_

_and you its only seed_

_To be continued…_


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter 2:_

_It's the Heart_

_afraid of breaking_

_that never learns to dance_

They'd been playing go at his new apartment. Half of his stuff was still unpacked, including his goban. But that hadn't really affected them. They had found his magnetic go set in one of the more accessible boxes and had settled into the normal pattern. It had been a good game with Akira taking a win. They were defending their own moves to the other when Hikaru decided that he couldn't stay quiet any longer.

"There you go again." Hikaru muttered interrupting Akira's flow of words. He ignored the dark look he was given and continued. "Whenever you get annoyed or angry with me, you always go back to calling me Shindo."

"I do?"

"Yes." He smiled at Akira's tone. "It's kinda cute." His smile got wider as he continued to play with a stone, rolling it between his fingers. He refrained from adding that the cute aspect usually took away the bite of Akira's angry words.

"Cute?" Akira repeated again. "Cute?!" He looked at their game as if it could offer an explanation as to why this conversation was even taking place. "What? How?... Are you trying to distract me from telling you how horrendously stupid your last move was? Because if you are…" Hikaru held up his hand in silent protest.

"I wasn't. Honest. But if it works, I'll make sure to remember it for next time." And that got him a response that he _never, ever_ would have believed could happen.

Akira threw the go stone at him. Inwardly he winced at the thought that he'd do such an immature thing but at the same time… it was rewarding to hear to surprised yelp that escaped Hikaru's mouth. He apologized silently for his rude behavior to the game of go and looked at Hikaru with an arched eyebrow, daring him to retaliate. Because he was after all, Hikaru's rival.

Hikaru gaped like a fish that had jumped out of the water and could no longer breathe.

"You threw a go stone at me." He finally muttered, eyes wide. His hand was rubbing almost absently his upper arm where Akira had hit him. The man had impeccable aim. "You threw…a go stone…" He repeated it a second time as if it would make the situation a bit easier to comprehend. "I…" He bit his lip and shook his head. "Isn't that sacrilegious or something?"

Akira snorted before grumbling. "It would be if it was a true goban and stones…" He paused. "And if you weren't such an idiot, than yes. It would be sacrilegious." Hikaru blinked.

"Oh." He muttered before his brain could catch up with everything. "Hey!"

_It's the Dream_

_afraid of waking_

_that never takes the chance_

"I'll show you who's stupid, Stupid!" He shouted in his rival's face, his hands coming to curl around a pile of the small go stones. He pegged them at Akira, not too hard of course. And he refrained from aiming that mocking face. Akira yelped from his sitting position, arms coming up to protect himself.

"Shindo!"

"Hi-ka-ru! My name is Hi-ka-ru!" The young man muttered, emphasizing each syllable of his first name. He grabbed more stones and couldn't help feeling quite satisfied at the little undignified sounds that were coming from his rival.

"Enough already!" The other exclaimed, grabbing his own stones after having decided that defending himself was not an acceptable solution. He would have to go back onto the offensive. Damn it if he would bow out of this one.

"No!" Hikaru yelled back, laughing as he did. He wasn't too surprised when go stones started flying in his direction. He ducked a few and then groaned as one pegged him quite hard on the cheek. "Not the face!"

"Then stop moving! Declare your defeat!"

"Defeat?!" Hikaru jumped to his feet. "Never!" He originally had grabbed the pillow as a shield. However, he found it more useful to use it as a weapon. Akira's eyes hadn't even widened at the new attack. Instead they'd started scanning the room for a pillow that he could use as his own weapon.

"Shindo…" He started to growl out only to be promptly smacked on top of the head by the fluffy pillow. It made his teeth click together. "Damn it, Hikaru!" He pushed the other boy away and leaped to the couch. His rival's laughter followed him. His hand closed in on a corner of a pillow. The laughter behind him stopped as he turned around slowly. "Now…let's begin again."

And that is how what had started out as a simple post game discussion ended as a pillow fight. Several minutes of friendly competitiveness and fighting, the two of them lay on the floor. Akira winced and moved slightly over so a go stone wouldn't be sticking in his back. He couldn't believe how out of breath he was. Actually…he could. What he couldn't believe was what they'd been doing. He glanced at Hikaru from the corner of his eye. The other was just an arm length away, sprawled out and heaving in great big gulps of air. His eyes were light and there was a huge smile that was tugging at his lips. Hikaru's cheeks were flushed as well. The sight of his rival like this made Akira's heart jump just a bit. He tore his eyes away and looked at the white ceiling. They lay in companionable silence for a bit until Hikaru groaned.

"I can't believe you won…" He pulled himself into a sitting position, hand coming to brush away his blond bangs. He grinned at Akira who simply looked at him. Normally, the look that clearly stated—me win, of course. How could you believe anything else?—would make him bristle but today it just made him want to laugh. "Next time," He started to threaten which was probably not very convincing with the smile that wouldn't leave his face. "Prepare to be beaten."

"Hmm, whatever you say Hikaru." Akira muttered, a lazy smile coming to his own face. Slowly he sat up as well. He was dismayed to find that his shoulder length hair was all over the place and horribly tangled as his fingers remained caught in their knots. He made a face, trying to brush his hair back into some semblance of order with his hands. After a couple of minutes of watching this, Hikaru poked Akira's cheek. "Eh?"

"I have a brush you could borrow, you know." He stood up in one fluid motion and reached down to pull his rival up as well. Akira took the offered help.

"That would make it easier. Thank you." Ah. The formal Akira was back, Hikaru thought as he heard the polite words. His smile didn't fade at the acknowledgement. He liked that side of Akira as well.

_It's the One _

_who won't be taken_

_who cannot seem to give_

"You and Touya seem…" Waya paused in his wording here, giving Hikaru enough time to tense and feel defensive despite the fact that he didn't know where this was going. "…closer." The young man continued, ignoring the frown that cast a sudden shadow on his friend's face. Isumi tensed behind the two of them as well. Yet the three of them continued walking down the street.

"And?" The lightness of Hikaru's tone was deceptive.

"And nothing." Waya admitted. "Just curious."

"Curious?" Hikaru was puzzled at the word. He paused in his footing and looked backwards at Isumi for help in deciphering its meaning. The taller man shrugged a bit helplessly. He had no idea where Waya was going with this either and felt more than a little nervous at the topic. Though Waya had grown and matured, his temper was still quick to burn especially when it involved his protégé. Hikaru had no knowledge of the streak of protectiveness that Waya had for him. Had no idea that he'd been in fact a protégé that had long ago surpassed his protector.

"A bit jealous too." Waya admitted finally, breaking the long stretch of silence that had built between the three. Hikaru's eyes widened and his mouth opened in a silent what? Isumi too felt taken off guard at the announcement. He stared at his childhood friend and realized all of a sudden that the three of them had long ago ceased to be children. "We hardly see you." The redhead was looking straight ahead. "Apart from work, of course." Hikaru's mouth was still open. It shut at last with a definite click that made Isumi wince. That must have hurt the teeth.

"I'm sorry." The words were awkward. "I…" Hikaru shook his head. "I didn't realize. I…" He looked a bit lost. "Why didn't you say anything?" He reached out, his fingers taking hold of Waya's sleeve. The older boy stopped, looking back at his friend with a sad smile.

"Because you look so happy." The words escaped Waya's lips. He winced at their sound and their visible effect on Hikaru. He chuckled, hoping that it would ease the atmosphere. "Sorry. I guess I'm still a bit selfish." Waya tugged his sleeve loose and started to walk again. "You should invite Touya out with us sometime…if you want that is." Hikaru smiled. And it was like the ray of light that he was named for. He ran a few steps to catch up with the redhead. He shoved the other a little and was shoved back. Muttered curses and laughter started to fill the air making the scene that had just passed seem dream-like.

Isumi watched the two walk further away from him, glued to the street corner. Selfish was the last word that was in his mind as he thought of Waya right then. Instead, the sad smile that Waya had had was burned in his mind and reminded him almost painfully of the look any parent wears when they finally realize that their child has finally grown up.

"Hey Isumi!"

"You coming?" The two voices called after him, beckoning him to rejoin their presence.

_And the Soul_

_afraid of dying_

_that never learns to live…_

_To be continued…_


	3. Chapter 3

_Chapter 3:_

_When the night_

_has been too lonely_

"Are you sure?" Akira asked weakly, looking at Hikaru's animated form with some misgivings about the night's plans.

"Hm?" The young man gave him a side look and smiled a bit cheekily. "Of course. Waya was the one who asked."

At that name, Akira's stomach knotted further. He had been looking forward to spending time with Hikaru and _not_ playing go, as strange as that may sound. But he'd assumed rather blindly, that it was just going to be the two of them like it had been the last few times. He rubbed his sweaty palm on his pants and gave a short nod of defeat. He turned to follow the shorter go player. Akira was surprised to find that Hikaru was looking at him rather pensively. He opened his mouth to ask but Hikaru shook his head, his hand going up to scratch the back of his head.

"I was just thinking—" Hikaru started, cheeks flushing slightly. "Do I seem happier these days?" The question seemed banal at first and Akira blinked. If it hadn't been for the redness painting Hikaru's cheeks or the serious look in the grey-green eyes, Akira would have continued to think of the question as random and unimportant. Another one of Shindo, Hikaru's many quirks. But…it wasn't banal. He tried to find the words to answer it and found only that a lump of strange sadness had replaced the fear. "Sorry." The one word was said lightly but a bit fast. Hikaru made a face. "That was kind of random."

"No." Akira replied quickly. The bang bleached go player arched his eyebrow. "Well, not as random as you usually are anyway." That made Hikaru glare at him for being teased. He just chuckled at it before the smile dropped from his face. "As for an answer to that…I can only hope that you are."

"…" The smile that sprang on the other's lips was pensive. "I am." Hikaru's eyes caught Akira's. "Are you?" The question took him off guard, though it shouldn't have in retrospect.

"I am." His answer mirrored Hikaru's and then the two were out the door and heading to god knows where. The incident was pushed away for the moment, allowing for other emotions to make their way as the rest of the evening played out. Bracing himself for a night of unease and uncomfortable-ness, Akira remained quiet. He listened to Hikaru's slightly nonsense chatter and then listened to the conversations of the others, feeling not completely included but not disregarded either. When Akira got back to his apartment that night, alone in the darkness… the memory came back to him. It made him wonder for a moment what it meant exactly.

And if in the grand pattern of their lives, the two of them hadn't answered something altogether different than what the question had asked.

_And the road_

_has been too long_

"Do you think…" Waya started and then coughed. The question he wanted to ask was apparently embarrassing him. To prove it further, his neck started to flush. Though in the darkness of the night, Isumi could not see it. He simply knew its presence because of the length of the time the two had been together. He waited in patient silence for the rest to come, knowing that to push would only make the other silent. "Do you think they realize?"

"Realize?" Isumi asked, confused. He could assume correctly that the 'they' Waya wanted to discuss was Touya and Shindo but what should the two be realizing? Waya looked away as he blurted an answer.

"That they like each other." Oh! Oh. Isumi smiled.

"I think so." He shortened his long stride so that their walk back to their respective apartment would be at a slower pace. Waya followed suit, unconscious of the action. "Is that why you were so quiet?" He asked gently. "Are you worried?" The second question followed before the redhead could even formulate his first answer. He glared at his taller friend, wishing at times that Isumi didn't know him _that_ well and go straight at the heart of the matter.

"A bit." He admitted grudgingly. "Aren't you?"

"…no…" Isumi said slowly, trying to pin point why exactly he wasn't. "I think, I've been expecting it to happen. But I'm not quite sure why." He gave a brief chuckle. "That must sound odd." Waya shook his head.

"Nah." His tone was strangely relieved. "It doesn't sound odd at all." Another pause and then— "Think we'll ever find that kind of…"— Waya's voice got all soft and hesitant. "…love?"

_And you think_

_that love is only…_

_for the lucky and the strong_

Hikaru stretched the next morning, still sleepy despite the fact that it was already early afternoon. He groaned a bit as he realized how much he'd overslept. A distant thought nagged at him that if he'd stayed at home, it wouldn't have happened. His mother would have seen to it that he get up. The nagging thought had his mother's voice. He felt a tug of sadness and home sickness which he pushed aside with practiced ease. Yeah, it sucked to live alone sometimes. But that was life. You grew up and dealt with the changes despite everything. And he was lucky. He'd stayed with his parents much longer than his friends had. His friends had also made a point of not leaving him alone. He looked around until his eyes caught sight of his magnetic go board. The memory brought a smile to tug at his lips.

With slow movement he removed the warm blankets from the rest of his body and got up. Even slower steps brought him to his kitchen. He shifted his weight from foot to foot, wondering what he could eat.

'I don't really want to be alone…' The thought came and left him. Hikaru sat at the kitchen table and inspected its wooden surface. It suddenly seemed too big and useless. A whole table for him with no one else to share its space. He leaned back on his chair until he weight was only resting on its two back feet. He swayed there and chanced reaching for the phone behind him, hoping he wouldn't lose his balance.

The number was dialed by heart.

_Just remember_

_in the winter_

_far beneath the bitter snows_

"Hello?" The voice answered after only two rings and Hikaru smiled.

"Hey."

"Hikaru?"

"Yep…I was just wondering if you'd like to come over and have breakfast with me."

"Breakfast? Hikaru, you do realize it's already two in the afternoon."

"Yes _mom_." He replied with an edge. "But I just got up and so for me… it is breakfast."

"Don't call me mom." Akira's voice replied automatically in the same manner he rebutted many of Hikaru's insults. And then the rest of what Hikaru had said was processed. "You just got up!?" There was an exasperated sigh. No doubt Akira had gotten up at his usual time despite their late night and he'd probably been disgustingly productive too. Hikaru could imagine it all too well. "Let me guess, you don't have anything that could be considered food in your apartment too…"

"What? I resent that comment! I went shopping with you…" Hikaru tried to remember.

"Two days ago." Akira answered for him. "True. You couldn't have run out of food yet. Though you never know."

"Good grief Akira. Are you coming or not?" The conversation would be so much more enjoyable if the man would just be here by his side.

"Coming, coming." Akira answered, a smile sounding in his voice. "But I'll have lunch, thank you."

He wasn't alone anymore…

_Lies the seed_

_that with the sun's love_

_in the spring_

_becomes the rose_

_The end._


End file.
